Time Of Your Life
by obsessedproductions
Summary: I love you. I've loved all along. And I miss you. Been far away for far too long. I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go. Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore...
1. Chapter 1

obsessedwithstabler and SVUproductions here on our brand new joint account, bringing ya'll a brand new story! Now, as most everyone knows, Chris lost his freaking mind and left the show. This is basically what happens to El in our demented little universe. The title is borrowed from the Green Day song, Time Of Your Life (Good Riddance.) The summary was borrowed from the Nickleback song, Far Away. This is set sometime before the first episode, so that heartbreaking moment where Liv cries never happened. It's already finished, and will be updated every Wednesday, when the new episode premieres. Sit back, enjoy, and please review!

Disclaimer: Not ours!

SVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVU

Olivia Benson never cared for September in New York.

Not quite summer, but not quite fall, the weather was often unpredictable. Jacket one day, and a tank top the next. But this September, it was different. She barely paid attention to the changing weather patterns outside. Instead, her mind was elsewhere, trapped somewhere in April and a happier time in her life. Sure, she was still single, but she had a great job, an enviable home, and friends she would do anything for. She had almost everything anyone could ask for.

But that was back in April, before a woman had been murdered and her daughter, who had watched, had stormed the precinct with a gun.

Olivia closed her eyes, and the scene replayed over and over again in her head, a horror movie that she was powerless to stop. Elliot had shot Jenna after the young girl shot Sister Peg, one action that would change the course of their lives forever. It was just a month after the shooting that Elliot suddenly retired, without even saying goodbye to Olivia. She had found out about it through their captain, and she had been devastated. She had refused to take another partner, and even now, almost four months later, she still grappled with Elliot's sudden disappearance.

There was a glass of wine in her hand, and she took a long drink from it as a peal of lightning briefly lit up her living room. During the week, she functioned, but just barely. And the weekends passed in an alcohol induced blur. She had never thought that losing a person from her life could have this kind of effect on her, but it had. And she couldn't seem to stop the downward spiral her life was in. God, she missed him. She missed the stability he brought to her life, the little smiles and the way he made her feel. She had been half in love with him since their first meeting, but she accepted early on that they would never happen.

But she still missed him.

She pressed her forehead against the glass and sighed.

Suddenly there was a knock on her door. At the intrusive noise, Olivia scowled. Who would be at her apartment after nine at night? A little unsteady, she made her way to the door, grumbling to herself. Pulling the door open, she prepared to give whoever was on the other side a sound tongue lashing. But before she could, her eyes widened, and the color drained from her face.

Elliot was silent for a second. "Good thing I got the right apartment. I was starting to think I was about to be mauled," he said softly, feeling guilty as he watched Olivia pale.

She stared at him, unable to speak or even breathe. After four long, miserable months of wishing and hoping and cursing his name, there he was.

He smiled sadly, knowing that she was angry and he deserved whatever she may say, if she decided not to slam the door in his face and leave him standing there. "You're mad, I know."

Swallowing hard, she finally found her voice. "Wh-What are you doing here...?" She was still struggling to believe he was even there.

Elliot ran his hand over his hair wearily. "Signing my divorce papers."

"No...why are you here, at my apartment?"

"Kathy sold the house and my apartment sort of frowned on me not having enough to pay my rent."

A flash of anger flared in her eyes. "So you came here? After disappearing from my life without so much as a fare thee well? No! You don't get to do this, Stabler!"

Elliot sighed. He had expected this, and he knew he needed to hear. it. He had walked out without even looking back, and he knew that he had hurt her. "I'm sorry," he finally whispered. "I know I hurt you."

"No, you don't know! You have no fucking idea what it's like to know the one person you cared about most in your life didn't think enough of you to pick up the goddamn phone and say goodbye! You don't know anything!"

"I didn't talk to anyone, Liv. Unless you count myself."

"I wasn't good enough," she muttered, her speech slightly slurred. The wine in her glass sloshed around. "Never been good enough...never will be..."

He took the moment to look over her shoulder. He could see a few empty wine bottles in her trash can near the sofa. He turned back to her and frowned. "Don't say that," he said firmly.

"But... I'm not." She turned around and went to the couch, dropping heavily onto the cushions. Then she emptied her glass and sighed.

She hadn't invited him in. But she hadn't told him to leave. So he took a deep breath and followed her inside. "Yes, you are," he argued.

She scoffed, looking around for another bottle.

"I really am sorry, Liv. You have to believe me," he insisted.

"No, I don't. You betrayed my trust, Elliot." And to trust someone so openly was almost impossible for her to do. But she had managed it with him.

And look what happened...

"I know I did. But I'm back now. I'm not leaving you again."

She desperately wanted to believe that, but she just couldn't. He had been the one person in her life that she had let entirely into her heart, who had seen a side of her that no one else had ever seen. He knew her better than anyone, even better than she knew herself sometimes. But he had also been the source of the worst pain she'd ever known, and she was conflicted.

"I promise," he whispered.

"I...I can't..."

Elliot bit her lip. "I shouldn't be asking you to forgive me," he mumbled. "I don't deserve it. I hurt you. So yell at me. Kick me out. Do whatever you need to do."

She looked up at him, and the pain in her dark brown eyes made him cringe. Setting her glass aside, she got to her feet. "I can't do this. Go...go to a hotel. Do whatever. I'm going to sleep."

"Okay." He stood up. "Just... call me. I promise I'll actually get off my ass to answer."

"Get out!"

Without another word, Elliot turned around and left in silence, the only sound being the gentle thud of the door slipping shut behind him.

Outside, the rain was falling in torrents, washing the city clean again. Elliot was unlocking his car when a familiar voice called his name. "Elliot!"

He stopped and turned around. "Yeah?"

With a soft sob, Olivia closed the distance between them and flung her arms around his neck. The embrace reminded her of Sonya Paxton's death, when they had embraced like this in the hospital. But this was different.

He was taken aback, but it only took him a moment to regain his composure and wrap his arms around her. He rested his cheek against hers, holding her tightly.

She trembled in his arms and held him tighter. "Don't leave again," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the falling rain.

"I won't," he murmured, his hand tangling in her chestnut hair. "I won't."

"I need you, Elliot." She always had, and she suspected that she always would.

"I'm not going anywhere," he promised her. "Not again."

She buried her face in his shoulder, not moving until the rumble of thunder reminded her of where they were. Reluctantly, she pulled away from him and looked up into his eyes. "We should go back inside."

"Okay," he said softly, following her back to the apartment.

She led him back into the apartment building and upstairs. Once they were back in her apartment, she quickly removed her shoes, shivering.

Elliot took his jacket off and draped it over the corner of a nearby chair. He was so thankful that she had decided to let him back in. Not just her apartment, but her life. He didn't know how he could handle it if she never spoke to him again.

She went down the hall, returning a minute later with a couple of towels. She handed one to him, then began drying herself off with the other.

Elliot ran the towel over his soaked face and took off his damp overshirt.

Olivia dropped down onto the couch and sighed. The rain had sobered her up a little, and her head started to pound. She was still angry that he had walked out of her life without a word, but now that he was back, she couldn't let him go.

He folded his towel and sat down beside her, staring into space for several seconds. "What's it like at work now?"

"I don't want to talk about work."

"Okay then." He looked at her. She was facing away from him. "What do you want to talk about? I think we already covered the weather." He gestured to her still slightly wet hair.

She was quiet for a while. "Why did you leave me like that, Elliot?" She had dealt with abandonment before. It was nothing new. But being abandoned by him…

"Because I'm an idiot," he said guiltily. "An idiot who doesn't know how to handle emotions without hurting people."

"I've been...so lost without you."

He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry," he said for what felt like the one hundredth time. And he meant it.

Finally she turned her head and looked at him. "I wouldn't let Cragen assign me a new partner."

"I bet he's pissed about that."

"I didn't care. You're my partner."

That brought a small smile to his lips. "Yep."

She sighed and tugged at her damp clothes. "It's late. I'm going to get some sleep."

"Okay. Good night."

Getting to her feet, she went to the closet in the hall and retrieved a clean blanket and sheets. Then she carried them back to the couch. "Stay, if you want."

He stripped down to his tee shirt and boxers and took them from her. "Thanks."

Unable to help staring at him, she blushed lightly. "Good night, Elliot."

"Night."

She looked him over once more, then disappeared into her bedroom.

Elliot set up the sofa bed and crawled in between the sheets, resting his head on the pillow. He stared up at the ceiling.

SVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVU

Deep in the night, a soft cry came from Olivia's room. She thrashed in her bed, her limbs tangled in sheets that were damp with sweat.

Elliot hadn't quite fallen asleep yet, and he was immediately awake at the sound. He hurried into her bedroom. "Liv?"

She groaned quietly, her brow furrowed. "Elliot..."

"I'm here." He gently smoothed her hair back.

Suddenly her eyes shot open, and she sat up in the bed. Her heart was racing, and she looked deeply upset. When her eyes fell on Elliot, she looked confused. "El?" Her voice was raspy and sleep-laden.

He nodded. "Yeah. You alright?"

"I think so..." She shivered.

He reached out and pulled the blanket back over her. "What was it?"

"I don't want to talk about it..."

"You don't have to."

Still unsettled, she hesitantly motioned for him to sit on the bed beside her.

Elliot obeyed, sitting where she indicated.

Almost immediately she was more relaxed, and she watched him intently. The past four months had taken a toll on him, but he was still as handsome as he ever was.

"You want me to stay?"

She thought about that for a moment. "Please..."

He laid down beside her, slipping under the blanket.

They had never touched like this before, and suddenly she could barely catch her breath. Almost hesitantly, she found her hand with his.

He intertwined his fingers with her slim ones, gently stroking her knuckles.

She stared into the darkness, her heart racing. "Kathy really left you again?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Eli isn't mine."

She lifted her head and stared at him. "What?"

"I'm not his father."

Stunned, she laid her head back down on the pillow. Eli wasn't his child. Kathy's pregnancy had been the only reason behind their entire reconciliation. She felt a sudden surge of anger toward the woman who had repeatedly broken her best friend's heart.

"I didn't see it coming," he said as he yawned. "I'm sorry." Her hand gripped his tightly.

He shrugged. "Why? You didn't do anything.""But she hurt you. And I hate it." Hesitating, she moved her body closer to his. "Elliot, you're my best friend. There is no one in this world who means more to me than you."

"I hate it, too. All this time I thought I was his father... just to find out when his real dad came up to the door demanding joint custody."

With a soft, disapproving sound, she squeezed his hand tightly.

Elliot closed his eyes again. "I just need to sign the papers... and that's it."

She rolled onto her side, toward Elliot. "Try to get some sleep, El."

"You too. Good night. Again."

She smiled and rolled onto her back again, settling into the pillows. But sleep was hours away.

To Be Continued...

A/N: Yay, EO angst! And trust us, there is tons more angst to come. Thanks for reading, and please review!


	2. Oh, Tonight

OMG, updating with a big surpirse tonight! Mariska and Peter just adopted a baby boy, bringing their little brood up to three! Awww! So very happy for them. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not ours!

SVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVU

The next morning, Fin walked up to Olivia's apartment and knocked on the door. For the past four months, since Stabler's sudden and unexplained departure, she had not been herself. He had tried everything he could to get even a smile from her, but nothing worked. But last night, he had gotten the idea to take her out to dinner. Not just to a bar, or some cheap hotdog stand like Stabler used to. A five star restaurant, with wine and

roses. He would show her how a woman should be treated. How she should be treated.

He loved Olivia like she was family, but he had always entertained a small hope that they could be more than that. When Stabler was around, he knew it could never be more than a fantasy. But Stabler wasn't around now. He absently tugged at his tie, then reached out and knocked on Olivia's door.

Olivia was sleeping deeply for a change, warm and comfortable in bed. Sometime in the night, she had found her way into Elliot's arms. Her head rested on his chest, and her arm was draped over him.

The knocking became more persistent, and she finally groaned and untangled herself from Elliot's arms. Then she grabbed a robe and wrapped it around herself, tying the sash before she left the bedroom and headed to the front door.

Fin was surprised when Olivia opened the door in her robe, and he swallowed hard. Recovering quickly, he smiled at her. "Morning, Liv." He held up a coffee for her.

She ran a hand over her face. "Oh, Fin... I forgot you were my ride today. Just give me a minute to get dressed."

"It's okay. No hurry."

At that moment Elliot emerged from the bedroom, still in his boxers.

Elliot sighed. "I know. But we talked..."

Before Olivia could stop him, Fin crossed the floor and swung. His fist connected with Stabler's nose, and he looked triumphant at the noise of pain the other man made.

Elliot regained his composure and threw a solid right hook at Fin's jaw.

Swearing, Olivia pushed herself between the men and shouted, "Both of you, stop!"

Fin sidestepped her and lashed out at Stabler again. He would not lose Olivia to this bastard. Not again.

Olivia grabbed Fin's arm, angrily shouting, "Tutuola! Stop it!"

Fin glared at her. "You're just going to let him waltz back in after hiding like a damn coward for four months?"

"Fin, you don't own me." She wouldn't deny that she was attracted him, but that was far surpassed by what she felt for Elliot. She wouldn't risk what she could have with Elliot for something she wasn't completely sure she felt.

"I know I don't. But I care about you, Olivia. More than this jackass ever could!"

"Fin..."

"You know I'm right! And I'd bet my pension that he only came back because Kathy left him again!"

Elliot started to lash at him, but he stopped at the firm glare Olivia gave him.

Fin gave Stabler a cold look. "Tell me I'm wrong," he challenged.

Elliot narrowed his eyes at him. "Are you really doing this?"

"Yeah. I am."

Elliot kept his fists clenched at his side, trying not to let them strike Fin again. He bit the inside of his jaw.

Fin looked smug. He looked at Olivia. "You can do so much better than him, baby girl. Don't make him your first choice, when you're not even an option to him.

Olivia ran her hand over her hair. When had Fin become so damn territorial?

"Leave," Elliot snarled.

"Screw you."

Elliot looked at Olivia. "You gonna kick him out?"

Frustrated and pissed at Stabler, Fin turned around and headed to the door. But as he grabbed the door, he turned and looked at Olivia. "Don't come crying to me when he does it to you again, Olivia." Then he left the apartment.

"That was unexpected," Elliot sighed.

"You don't know what it was like, Elliot," she whispered, feeling the headache that was forming as a result of her wine consumption. "I... I was devastated."

Elliot looked away. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"Fin...he really looked after me. He tried to make sure that I'd be okay."

"He just tried to kill me."

She turned and stared at him, then slowly shook her head. "I have to get ready for work." Her voice was cold. "Lock the door on your way out." She went into the bedroom, silently fuming at the situation.

"Okay," he said in confusion, startled by her sudden mood change.

She quickly dressed for work, then left the apartment without another word to Elliot.

He frowned, then went into the kitchen to prepare some coffee.

By the time she got back home, Olivia had had enough time to cool down. She didn't know if Elliot would still be there, but she decided not to run him off if he was. Fin had spent most of the day giving her the cold shoulder, and she hated it. He had a few good points, and maybe she shouldn't have been so quick to let Elliot back into her life. But damn it, she missed him. She unlocked her door and eased into the apartment.

Elliot was on the couch watching television. "Hey. I ordered Chinese."

"You're still here." She removed her jacket and her holster.

"Yep.""How's your face?"

"Sore. But I can deal with it."

She kicked off her shoes and put her purse down, then made her way to the couch. Leaning over so that she was face to face with him, she frowned. His lip was cut and swollen, and he had a black eye. "It's a good look for you." Without thinking, she ran her thumb over his bruised cheek.

"You like seeing me covered in bruises?"

"I was being sarcastic, Elliot."

He chuckled softly. "Good to know." He had missed their little banters.

She sat down beside him and blew out a deep breath. "So...now what?"

"I don't know."

"Neither do I."

Elliot didn't know what to say. What were they supposed to do? Had they made up, or was she still angry?

Uncertain, she got up and went into the kitchen. They were floating in uncharted waters, and she had no idea what was going on in his head. She grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge and twisted the top off. Then she took a long swig, shivering as the cool liquid hit her throat.

Elliot handed her the box of Chinese food. "Fresh from your favorite restaurant. But I can tell you the name of a really good place called the grocery store..."

She looked at him. "Why are we doing this, Elliot? We're not partners anymore, but we don't have to be strangers."

"Are you still mad?" he asked.

"Yes. You abandoned me." She couldn't keep the hurt out of her voice. "You walked out of my life, like it was nothing."

"I didn't do it to hurt you, but you have every reason to be mad at me. I just don't seem to know how to handle things without hurting people. People that I lo-" He caught himself. "Care about."

"Go back. You started to say something else." Her eyes searched his.

"No I didn't."

"Yes, you did! Don't lie to me, Elliot."

He shook his head stubbornly. "I'm not lying."

"Fine." She slammed her empty bottle down and stormed past him. "I'm going for a walk. If you're just going to keep lying to me, don't be here when I get back."

Without thinking, Elliot went after her. Grabbing her wrist, he stopped her and pulled her close. Then he ran his hand over her hair before pressing his lips against hers.

Shocked, she tensed. But after a moment, she deepened the kiss as her arm went around his neck.

Elliot closed his eyes, his lips still locked with hers. He had feared that she would pull away and slap him so hard he forgot his own name, but she hadn't. But why were they doing this? He had just gotten through his divorce, Olivia was still angry with him... But right now it didn't seem to matter.

She could barely think as she deepened the kiss. The touch was so foreign, and yet it was like they had done this forever. With a soft sound of desire, she began backing toward the couch, but did not break the contact.

Elliot followed her, still locked to her.

They finally collapsed onto the couch together, longing to erase the pain and loneliness his unexplained departure had caused. But there was an underlying desperation, a need to connect in ways they had deemed forbidden years ago. Tonight, walls would be broken down, and boundaries would be shattered. Tonight, only two people in the world existed, and nothing else mattered. Not his pride, not her anger.

Tonight, there would only be them.

The next morning, Olivia awoke to the sun shining through her bedroom window. She groaned softly, snuggling into the arms that were holding her so tight. The memories of the previous night slowly returned to her, and she smiled. Somehow they had made it into her bedroom, after exploring each other on the couch...and the living room floor... Her cheeks flushed.

Elliot was still asleep, his brawny arms wound tightly around his partner's slender waist. She finally smiled and pressed herself closer to him. No, last night certainly hadn't been a dream. She had done things with him that she had only ever dreamed she would. And now she was laying in his arms, listening to the rhythm of his heart beating.

Elliot's eyelids fluttered open. He looked at Olivia before yawning softly and closing his eyes again. He wasn't ready to move just yet.

She smiled and leaned forward, kissing his chest.

He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed the top of her head, sighing contently.

"Don't ever leave me," she whispered against his warm skin.

"I won't." And now he didn't know how he could have left the first time.

With a soft sigh, she kissed her way up to his neck. Then she slanted her mouth over his.

Elliot rubbed her back as he kissed her deeply.

She smiled as he deepened the kiss. Never would she have thought that her wildest dreams could come true like this. Here they were, laying in her bed and kissing like it was the most natural thing in the world. Like they had been doing it all of their lives.

Finally their lips parted and Olivia slowly pulled away from him. Elliot was quiet for a moment. "Breakfast?" he finally murmured.

She smiled. "Yeah. Okay. Breakfast sounds good."

He reluctantly released her and rolled out of bed with another yawn.

Settling back against the pillows, she watched his form with an appreciative gaze. No doubt he was a handsome and well-built man. From his muscular back to his toned legs, he was physically everything a woman could want. And the fact that he wanted her astounded Olivia.

He found his boxers and tee shirt and slipped them on. He caught Olivia staring at him. "I can take them back off," he chuckled.

She grinned. "Please do."

"Might wanna save that until tonight, don't you think?" He flashed her his infamous Stabler grin.

"I've waited thirteen years. Why should I have to wait until tonight?" Olivia pouted.

He smirked, then caught something. "Thirteen years, huh? Maybe Munch and Fin are right about the sexual tension they always insist we have."

"Guess they are." She snuggled back under her comforter and yawned. "If you're keeping your boxers on, I'm going back to sleep."

"I'll take them off when I'm done making breakfast."

Groaning, she finally sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. "Okay. I won't go back to sleep."

"Good." He went into her kitchen. "Now let's see if I can find anything other than ketchup and a bottle of water."

She snickered and followed him. "We may want to order in."

"Fine, but I'm going grocery shopping for you later."

"My refrigerator wouldn't know what to do with actual food. "

"It'll figure it out."

She came up behind him and kissed his back.

"You gonna try the kitchen this time?" he asked, smiling playfully.

"Maybe..." She wrapped her arms around his middle.

He turned around and kissed her neck.

She groaned softly and held him tight. No, there was no way she could let him go now.

To Be Continued...

A/N: Hope everyone enjoyed this. And again, congratulations to Mariska and Peter! Thanks for reading, and please review!


	3. Fall

Hi, folks. SVUProductions here, with the third chapter of… uh… oh yeah, Time of Your Life. Please review, everyone :)

Disclaimer: If SVU was owned by obsessedwithstabler and myself, Chris would not have been allowed to leave until Elliot and Olivia had spawned half a dozen offspring, Kathy would have been either nonexistent or written off, and poor El and Liv would need to be resuscitated multiple times a season, if not episode.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia let out a relieved sigh as she walked into her apartment. Behind her, Elliot followed, his mouth drawn in a tight line. A little over a month had passed since his return, and in that time, he had unofficially moved in. They never really talked about it. He just never bothered with finding his own place. It suited her just fine.

Shortly after his return, he had gone and talked to Cragen and gotten his job back. Cragen had been relieved, because it meant his two best detectives had been reunited. Olivia was just happy to have her partner back.

Elliot took his dark blue jacket off and draped it over the back of the sofa. He hadn't spent a night on her couch since that first night...

He was so deep in thought, he didn't notice when Olivia sat down beside him. "El?"

He looked at her. "Yeah?"

She ran her thumb along his cheek. "Are you okay?"

"Mm hmm."

She knew him better than that, but she didn't argue. Instead she kicked her shoes off and leaned back into the couch. Then she reached out, gently drawing his head into her lap. The contact was mutually comforting, and she felt her heart swelling with a deep affection.

He smiled. "Cozy."

"Mm hmm." Her fingers began raking through his hair.

Her gentle touched eased the headache that had just started to form, and he sighed in relief.

As he relaxed in her lap, she began to relax as well. She had been worried about him for the better part of the day.

Elliot closed his eyes and focused on her soft fingertips gently stroking his hair.

"Love you, El," she whispered.

"Love you, too."

For the first time since his return, they didn't make love. Instead, they stayed where they were on the couch, until they both fell asleep listening to the breathing of the other.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Two weeks passed by relatively smoothly, with only a couple of small incidents. Elliot would just take an aspirin, but Olivia would beg him to do something about it.

One evening, as they were getting ready for bed, Olivia watched Elliot undress. She could read him like a book, and she knew that he was in pain again. With a soft sound of frustration, she pulled him down onto the bed. Then she straddled his waist and studied his face. "El, you need to do something about these headaches you've been having."

"There's some Advil in the cabinet," he said simply

She huffed. "Stubborn bastard."

He smiled. "That's me."

"Really, Elliot. I'm worried about you."

He kissed her. "Don't be."

She eased down onto his chest. "I can't help it. I love you."

He gently slipped out from under her. "I'm gonna go take an aspirin."

Concerned, she watched him go, trying to convince herself that there was nothing seriously wrong with him. It was only a headache...

Elliot opened the kitchen cabinet and reached for the bottle of aspirin. Suddenly he felt dizzy and grabbed the counter to steady himself.

Olivia frowned when she heard a stifled groan. "Elliot?" She sat up, and as she slid out of the bed, there was a dull thud. Moving faster than she'd ever moved in her life, she raced into the bathroom. "Elliot!" He was on the floor, spasms shaking his body violently.

"No..." Olivia ran back to her bedroom and grabbed the phone, then raced back to her partner's side as she dialed 911. "Stay with me, Elliot," she muttered as she impatiently waited for a dispatcher to answer. Once they finally did, she hurriedly explained what was happening. Then she dropped the phone and knelt beside her partner.

Elliot struggled to focus on her as his headache increased by a tenfold.

"I'm getting help, El," she murmured, not certain if he could hear her. "Just hang on."

By the time the paramedics arrived, Elliot was still twitching sporadically. But he had lost consciousness, and Olivia was terrified. She watched as one of the medics injected something into Elliot's arm. Then they placed him on a stretcher and carried him out of the bathroom, with Olivia following them closely.

At Mercy General, Jana Hayes, an ER nurse, was reading through a patient's file. An ambulance pulled up in the ambulance bay, and a few moments later, a man was rushed inside on a stretcher. Jana stood up and hurried over. "What do we have?"

"Forty-four year old male, suffering from headaches, just had a seizure."

Jana looked at the patient, and a strange look appeared on her face as the patient was wheeled past her.

A woman hurried after the stretcher, and Jana quickly returned to her desk. The man she had just seen was her friend's ex husband, she was certain of it. She picked up the phone.

Olivia followed Elliot closely, refusing to be separated as he was settled in an Exam room.

An hour after they arrived, Olivia reluctantly left the room long enough to call Cragen and let him know what happened.

Kathy hurried down the hall toward Elliot's room. Jana had called her to inform her that Elliot was sick, and she quickly found his room and slipped inside. He was sleeping soundly in bed.

She quietly stepped next to the bed. "Hey, Elliot..." she said softly. "It's okay. I'm here now." She gently touched his cheek.

After speaking with Cragen, Olivia slipped back into the exam room where her partner was. She wasn't expecting what she found. "Kathy?"

"Olivia? What are you doing here?"

"I was with Elliot when he collapsed, and I brought him here. What are you doing here?"

"I just came to see him."

"Now isn't a good time. He needs to rest."

"I can keep an eye on him."

Olivia sighed. "He just had a grand mal seizure, Kathy. He's only allowed to have one visitor at a time."

"I didn't know you were here."

"Now you do, and you can leave."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm his medical proxy, and I need to be here to speak with his doctors. You can wait in the hall, if you want."

"Olivia, I'm his wife!"

"Ex-wife," Olivia corrected coldly.

Kathy glared at her. "I still care about him."

"I'm sure you do, and I don't want to get in a pissing match with you, Kathy. But right now, you need to listen to me and go."

Kathy started to argue, but turned on her heel and left quickly.

With a sigh, Olivia sat back down in the chair by her partner's bed.

Another hour passed before his doctor returned, accompanied by several nurses. Olivia looked worried. "Did you figure out what's wrong with him?"

"We're taking him to Radiology for an MRI, Ms. Benson."

"Why?"

Dr. Jameson looked at the file in his hand. "Because we believe a tumor is causing his symptoms."

Olivia felt as though the wind had been knocked out of her. "A...a tumor?"

"It fits all of his symptoms. If it is a tumor, we need to locate it and decide on the best course of treatment for Mr. Stabler."

Olivia watched, sick, as they put the safety rails up on Elliot's bed, then wheeled him out of the room.

Jameson stayed behind and watched Olivia closely. "Are you very close with Mr. Stabler?"

She nodded numbly. "We live together."

The doctor looked sympathetic. "I'll let you know as soon as we know something."

"Thanks." She watched the doctor leave, and once he was gone, she felt very empty and alone.

Finally, an hour and a half later, Elliot's bed was wheeled back into the room. Olivia got up, watching intently as they got him settled again. Once the nurses moved away, she went to the head of the bed and gently kissed Elliot's forehead.

Elliot slowly opened his eyes. "W-what...?"

Her tired eyes lit up. "Hi, baby." She began stroking his hair gently. "How do you feel?"

"Tired... my head still hurts."

"I know." She tucked her free hand into his.

Jameson approached the bed. "Hello, Mr. Stabler. I'm Dr. David Jamison."

Still half asleep, Elliot greeted him with a nod.

Jamison looked at Olivia. "You should come with me, Ms. Benson."

Olivia hesitated, deeply reluctant to leave Elliot's side.

Elliot frowned but rested his head on the pillow.

She looked at Elliot. "Are you going to be okay while I go talk to your doctor, El?"

"I'll be fine."

"Okay." She kissed his forehead, then followed Jameson out of the room.

In the hallway, Jameson looked Olivia over.

Olivia stared back at him. "So...did you find out what was wrong with my partner?"

"We did, Ms. Benson. Unfortunately, I don't have good news."

She paled. "What did you find?"

"I'm afraid my initial diagnosis was correct. We found a tumor at the base of his skull."

Olivia was stunned. "But...you can operate, can't you?"

"It would be extremely difficult with this type of tumor. It's called a glioblastoma multiforme, and even with surgery and aggressive treatment, his outlook is very poor."

She was silent for several moments. "So you're telling me... that even with treatments..."

"He might gain twelve to seventeen months."

Twelve to seventeen months with treatments...

Elliot Stabler was going to die.

To Be Continued...

So, yeah… that last sentence is kinda scary, eh? So, I totally bought the new edition of People, and it has a beautiful picture of Mariska, and- oh yeah, y'all are lynching us now and don't care about my magazine…. *hides under rock in a foreign country* And as one more note, I misspelled rock…. I accidentally typed c in place of the r…. so wrong. Review if you want me to stop ranting.

Oh, and obsessedwithstaber just said to tell you guys that she's on life support and only reviews can save her, so unless you want to be stuck with me, I suggest y'all get clicky with that review button! COME ON! CLICK THE DAMN BUTTON! Or else I'll get Liv to bust your door in. Unless you want that. Then I'll send my gang of flesh eating ninja pigs out to get you.


	4. Prayer

Happy Wednesday! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

SVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVU

When Olivia finally came back into the room, her eyes were swollen and her cheeks flushed. She looked at the man in the bed with a heavy heart. A tumor...Elliot dying... A shudder went through her.

Elliot opened his eyes as Olivia crept into the room. He started to speak, but stopped when he saw her face. "Liv?"

She managed a weak smile as she crossed the floor and finally reached his side. "Hey..."

"Hey. What's wrong?"

A shudder went through her. "I just talked to your doctor, El." With a deep breath, she sat on the edge of the bed, placing her hand gently on his broad chest.

His heart skipped a beat. "And?"

"The news isn't good. They...they found a tumor."

He didn't react for several seconds. "A tumor...? How bad?"

"It's bad, baby." She could feel the tears welling up again, threatening to overwhelm her. "They said that the survival rate, even with treatment... it's a little over a year."

This time he couldn't find the words to say. He just stared in silence.

"I know it's bad, El, but we'll figure it out. I'm going to get you the best doctors available." She would get him the best doctors, the best treatment...anything that would improve his odds.

He managed a tiny nod. "Okay..."

"El..." She gently pulled him into her arms, guiding his head to rest against her chest. She had just gotten him. How could she let him go so soon?

He closed his eyes and just let her hold him. He could feel himself trembling against her body. A year...

She kissed the top of his head, sniffling. No matter what would happen, she was going to be there for him. She would not abandon him, not now, not ever.

"Thanks," he finally murmured.

"Don't thank me, El." She certainly hadn't done anything worthy of being thanked. She gently nuzzled his head and held him tighter.

He rested his head on her shoulder, focusing on her hand as she gently started to rub his back.

She held him until he fell asleep, but she couldn't fall asleep herself. So she made them more comfortable, then closed her eyes and focused on the sound of his breathing.

The next morning, Dr. Jameson entered his patient's room, his mouth drawn in a tight line.

Elliot was cradled in Olivia's arms, but he was awake. Olivia still slept, though her sleep was restless.

Jameson walked around the bed, until he could see his patient's eyes. "Good morning, Mr. Stabler."

"Morning."

Jameson dove in without hesitation. "Your girlfriend told me that she already informed you of your situation. You have a large tumor located at the base of your skull. We have several courses of treatment to choose from, but this cancer is very aggressive."

Elliot nodded.

"The best recommendation I can give is surgery to remove the tumor, then several courses of chemotherapy."

"Okay," Elliot said quietly as to not awaken Olivia.

"But," Jameson cautioned, "Even with the most aggressive treatments, your life would only be extended by a few months to a year and a half."

He nodded again.

"I'll give you some time to think this over. Once you make your decision, we'll schedule the surgery, if that's what you choose."

"Alright. Thank you, doc."

Jameson left the room, and a few moments later, Olivia opened her eyes and held Elliot tighter. "What are you going to do?" she whispered.

"I don't know yet. I guess I'll have the surgery."

"Maybe we should call your kids, so they can come down here and you can talk to them."

"Yeah..." It was going to break his heart, but it had to be done.

She let him nestle deeper into her arms. She couldn't tell him that he was going to be okay, because she just didn't know. And she was terrified.

SVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVU

By the time his children arrived that evening, Elliot was sitting upright in the hospital bed. Olivia had helped him shower and shave, despite his annoyance. And as soon as the door opened, Olivia reluctantly withdrew from him. She wanted to give them privacy, despite her reluctance to leave his side.

Elliot smiled brightly when his kids walked into the room. "Hey, guys..."

Maureen hurried across the floor and into her daddy's arms. She had always shared a close bond with him, ever since she could remember. "Are you okay, Daddy? Mom just said you were here."

Richard and Elizabeth crossed the floor more slowly, but Kathleen stayed at the door.

"Sit down. All of you," Elliot urged.

Maureen reluctantly released him and sat down beside his bed. Lizzie sat across from her, and Richard stood by the foot of his bed. Kathleen refused to come any closer.

"C'mon, Kathleen. I need to talk to you guys."

Kathleen shook her head. "I'm good here."

Maureen reached out and grasped his hand. "Dad, just tell us what's going on. Please."

Elliot took a deep breath. "Alright." He looked up at them. "When they ran the tests, they found a brain tumor... it's pretty bad."

All of them were silent for several long moments. Finally Dickie recovered and found his voice. "You mean... you're gonna..." He trailed off.

Lizzie, normally so quiet and composed, burst into tears. With a sob, she stumbled to her feet and fled the room.

Kathleen didn't respond at all and Dickie left the room to console his twin. Elliot let out a soft sigh and looked at Maureen.

Maureen had tears in her eyes. "Can't your doctor do anything, Daddy?"

"They're gonna remove the tumor and I can get treatment, but they said it will only give me twelve to seventeen months."

"Twelve to seventeen...months?" Maureen echoed, her voice filled with disbelief.

He nodded softly, tears burning his eyes. He blinked them away. "Yeah," he whispered.

With a quiet sob, Maureen stood back up and wrapped her arms tightly around her daddy.

Elliot gently rubbed her back. "Shh... it's okay, honey."

Kathleen wiped her eyes, left the room, and cried softly in the hallway.

By the time his children left, Elliot was physically and emotionally drained. And the moment Olivia walked into the room, she knew how bad it had been. She hurried to his bed and sat down beside him. Without a word, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him against her, resting her head against his.

"Hey," he mumbled tiredly.

"Hi, sweetheart." She kept her voice low and gentle.

"I'm tired."

"I'm sure you are." She wrapped the thin hospital issued blanket snugly around him. "Are you in any pain?" Her hand absently touched the back of his neck.

"My head hurts."

"I'll get your nurse." She hit the call button to summon a nurse, then resumed holding Elliot.

A few moments later, a nurse hurried into the room. "Yes, Mr. Stabler?"

"He's in pain. Can you give him something for it?"

"Of course." She produced a syringe and quickly injected it into Elliot's IV. "He'll sleep for the rest of the night, and we'll come get him around six a.m. for pre-op."

"Okay. I'll be staying with him tonight."

Elliot sighed in relief and snuggled into her.

The nurse nodded and checked Elliot's vitals, then hurried out of the room.

The door closed, and Olivia sighed. In the morning, Elliot would be taken into surgery, and there was no guarantee he would come out of it. Her arms tightened around him protectively.

Elliot closed his eyes and rested his head against her shoulder.

She gently kissed his head. "You can't leave me," she whispered.

He nodded faintly, almost asleep. "I'll fight..."

"I know you will. I love you, Elliot."

"I love you, too."

He fell asleep easily in her embrace, but Olivia stayed awake most of the night, just watching him sleep. And when the nurses came to take him to pre-op, she felt her heart shatter all over again.

The surgery lasted well into the afternoon, and Olivia spent most of her time pacing the OR waiting room. Cragen, Fin and Munch had promised to be by when they could, and Elliot's children promised to come when he was out of surgery. So Olivia was on her own.

Finally Dr. Jameson found Olivia in the waiting room. His scrubs were bloody, and his expression was unreadable.

As soon as Olivia saw him, she jumped to her feet. "How is he, Dr.?"

"Ms. Benson," Jameson sighed, "Sit down."

Feeling sick, Olivia sat down heavily.

"We were able to extract most of the tumor, but not all of it. I'm afraid that I was correct in my initial assessment. We'll start the chemotherapy as soon as possible, but..."

"It'll only give him a year," Olivia concluded tearfully.

"I'm afraid so."

She stood up shakily, tears in her eyes. "Can I see him?"

"Yes. We've already moved him from the surgical floor to the ICU. We'll keep him there for the next couple of days, to monitor his condition."

She nodded, slowly following him out of the waiting room.

As they walked, Jameson continued. "He won't wake up until sometime tomorrow, at the earliest. He had a hard time in surgery, so he needs to rest."

Olivia nodded numbly.

Finally they arrived at the ICU, and without help from Jameson, Olivia easily found her partner's bed. Numerous machinery surrounded his bed, and a cannula delivering pure oxygen was under his nose. He looked small and pale, and Olivia couldn't help running her hand gently over his chest.

Jameson nodded to a cot that had been set up by Elliot's bed. "You can sleep there tonight, but I'm restricting his visitors to you only, at least for tonight. He has a long night ahead of him."

"Thank you..."

Jameson gently squeezed Olivia's shoulder, then walked away from Elliot's bed.

Alone with her partner, Olivia felt fresh tears gather in her eyes. Her movements were shaky as she dragged a chair up to his bed, then sat down in it. "Elliot..." She slid her hand into his and laid her head on his chest. And for the rest of the night, she did something she hadn't done in years.

She prayed.

To Be Continued...

A/N: Aww, sadness. :( Thanks for reading, and please review!


	5. Comfort

Happy Wednesday, everyone! See the author's note following the story for spoilers! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not ours!

SVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVU

The next morning, a nurse was checking Elliot's vitals when he stirred. She raised an eyebrow and looked at Olivia, who was sleeping with her head on Elliot's chest and her arm draped possessively over him. He groaned softly.

"Mr. Stabler?"

Elliot opened his eyes. "W...what...?"

"Good morning. How are you feeling?"

"Tired..."

She nodded. "That's normal. You'll feel tired and dizzy, but you won't feel any pain."

On his chest, Olivia stirred and groaned softly, then settled down again.

"Good." Elliot put his arm around Olivia.

The nurse smiled. "Your wife hasn't left your side all night."

"I never doubted that."

The nurse gently patted Elliot's arm. "Just hit this button if you need anything, sweetie. And try to get some rest."

"Thanks..." Elliot yawned.

He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, Olivia was sitting on the bed with him. She had a cup of coffee in one hand, and there was a haunted look in her kind eyes.

"Hey," he greeted sleepily.

She swung her gaze toward him, and her tired features lit up. "Hey, El..." Setting her coffee aside, she reached down and smoothed her hand over his cheek.

"How long have I been asleep?" he groaned, closing his eyes again as a beam of sunlight streamed trough the window.

"Your surgery was yesterday morning. You've been sleeping on and off since then."

For the first time since arriving at the hospital, his stomach growled. "Have you gotten breakfast yet?'

"I'll go get you something." She kissed his cheek, then slid off of the bed and hurried out of the room.

He shifted uncomfortably in the stiff bed and rubbed his neck. He missed being at Olivia's apartment in her warm and cozy bed.

Olivia returned a half hour later with lunch for herself and Elliot. She set the bag down, then retrieved his sandwich, unwrapping it before she handed it to him. "Eat slowly," she instructed gently.

"Aw, but that's no fun. I'm hungry." He started to eat his sandwich.

She sat down, keeping a watchful eye on him.

Elliot followed her orders and ate slowly until he finished his lunch. "Thanks."

"You're welcome, El." She reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently.

Before he could say anything, the door opened, and Dr. Jameson entered the room. His expression was grim. "Hello, Elliot."

"Hey." Elliot's voice was soft. He could tell by the look on the doctor's face that he wasn't going to like what he heard.

He dove straight in. "We weren't able to excise all of the tumor. We're going to start your chemotherapy tomorrow, and by the end of the week, you should be able to go home. But you'll have to return to the hospital every week for your chemotherapy." He glanced at Olivia. "I also would prefer that you not be alone. Your body is going to take time to adjust to this, and it would be unsafe for you to live alone."

"He won't be alone," Olivia said firmly.

Elliot squeezed Olivia's hand and smiled gratefully at her.

Olivia patted his hand, but didn't look at him.

"Excellent." He looked at Elliot again. "In a few weeks, we'll look at what's left of the tumor and try to remove it."

Olivia vaguely heard the doctor speak, but she didn't move until Jameson left the room.

"Liv?"

She finally turned and looked at her partner. "Hmm?"

"You okay there? You sorta zoned out on me."

"I'm the one who should be asking you if you're okay."

He smiled thinly. "I guess so."

She sighed and turned toward him. Her hand settled on his and squeezed gently.

He absently stroked her knuckles for seconds before he looked at her. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too, Elliot." She brought his hand up to her mouth and kissed his fingertips. "Very much."

"Liv? Thank you... for everything." As much as he wanted her to stay, she looked worn out. "You should go home. Take a shower and a nap."

She made a noise of disapproval. "No."

He sighed. He hadn't expected her to listen to him.

Her expression slowly softened. "I'm not leaving you alone."

"I didn't think you would. Sometimes I wonder who's more stubborn."

"I think we're pretty evenly matched." She gently caressed his arm.

He slipped his fingers into hers and squeezed her hand as a dizzy feeling overwhelmed him for a few seconds.

"El?" She stood up, deeply concerned. "El, are you okay?"

"Yeah... they said it was normal," he said slowly.

Still worried, she wrapped her arms firmly around him and held him close. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Can you bring me a glass of water?"

"Of course." She released him and stood up. There was a pitcher of water and a glass on the nightstand, and she quickly poured him a glass. Then she brought it back to the bed. "Here..." She placed the glass in his hand.

"Thanks." The dizziness slowly wore off as he took a long sip of water.

When he was finished, she took the glass from him and set it aside. Then she sat down beside him, letting him lean against her. "I've been talking to Cragen. I told him I was taking some time off."

"You don't have to do that..."

"I know I don't. But you need someone who can stay with you while your body adjusts to the chemo." And if she was completely honest, she didn't trust anyone else to take care of him.

"I know. Thanks."

She kissed the side of his head and quietly sighed. Elliot wasn't the perfect man, but he certainly didn't deserve any of this. She could only hope that the combination of surgeries and chemotherapy would help him beat this.

To Be Continued...

A/N: Okay, so spoilers... SUPPOSEDLY, in an upcoming episode (either the midseason finale or the season finale) Olivia will be caught with a positive pregnancy test in her hand. Whose it is, no one knows. But maybe there is hope for a happy ending for our girl! Thanks for reading, and please review!


	6. Falter

Update! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not ours!

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

A day after his first round of chemotherapy, Olivia finally let out a sigh of relief as she helped him into her apartment. During his hospital stay, Maureen had finally convinced her to go home for a while, while she stayed with her father. It had taken a while, but Olivia finally agreed. And after some sleep, decent food, a hot shower and cleaning her entire apartment, she did feel better. The rest of Elliot's things had been brought to her home, and she had made some minor adjustments in anticipation of his return home. She had replaced her couch with a pullout, the furniture in her bedroom had been rearranged, and she had gotten the entire place immaculate.

She helped Elliot to the couch, then covered him with her favorite afghan. Maureen and Lizzie would be coming by that evening, but Kathleen refused and Dickie had plans. Elliot was worried about any of them visiting, saying that he didn't want his children seeing him so sick. Olivia worried about that, but she didn't argue.

Once he was settled, she went into the kitchen and poured a glass of juice. Then she brought it back to the couch and sat beside her partner. "Here, El." His doctor had warned Olivia about the side effects of chemotherapy, but she had faith that she'd be able to take care of him.

"Thanks," He took the glass from her and took a long sip.

He handed the glass back to her, and she took a sip before setting it on the coffee table. Then she looked at him. He was pale and sweating, and without him saying a word, she knew he was in pain. She reached out and lightly caressed his stubbled cheek.

Her gentle touch greatly relieved him, and he closed his eyes wearily.

She pulled him close, and he nestled his head into her shoulder.

Elliot's breathing evened out as he slowly fell asleep while Olivia tenderly rubbed his back.

Once she was certain he was sleeping deeply, Olivia eased out from under him and gently laid him on the couch. Then she covered him with the afghan and kissed his forehead before stepping away from the couch.

That evening, Olivia was cooking dinner when there was a knock on the front door. Elliot was still sleeping on the couch, and she hurried to the door and opened it. "Captain..."

Cragen nodded at Olivia. "How are you doing, Liv?"

She shrugged. "I'm okay."

"I just came by to let you know that I got your compassionate leave approved." He knew how bad Elliot's condition was, and it deeply saddened him.

"Thank you, Captain. I really appreciate that."

He reached out and squeezed her arm, then looked past her, at the couch where Elliot lay sleeping. "How is he?"

"He's okay right now. He had his first round of chemo yesterday, and it really took a lot out of him."

"Is there anything I can do?"

She shook her head sadly. "I don't think so, Captain."

He stayed for a few minutes while they made small talk, and finally he excused himself and left. Olivia closed the door behind him, struggling with the emotions bubbling up inside her.

Elliot stirred on the couch.

She noticed his stirring, and she rushed over to the couch. "El...?" Kneeling down by his head, she laid a gentle hand on his chest. "Shh..."

He opened his eyes and groaned softly.

"Are you okay?" she murmured, studying his face intently.

He started to nod but shuddered as a bout of nausea hit him.

"Are you feeling sick, El?"

He nodded slowly.

"Okay..." She took his arm. "Just sit up... let's get you to the bathroom." He was sweating profusely, and a cold shower would probably help.

Still worn out, he leaned against her and bit his lip, trying to fight the nausea.

Wrapping an arm snugly around his waist, she slowly guided him into the bathroom. They barely made it before he lurched forward and vomited into the toilet. Aching for him, she dropped to her knee behind him and rubbed his back.

Elliot closed his eyes. Trembling, he tried to focus on her hand on his back instead of how weak he felt.

Finally his stomach was empty, and she reached over and turned on the faucet until the water was cool, but not cold. Then she helped him stand up carefully. "This should help..." She undressed him slowly, her movements gentle and loving.

His eyes stayed closed. He was no longer nauseous, but he was dizzy.

Moving quickly, Olivia also undressed. Then she helped him into the shower. The water felt good against their warm skin, and she picked up a washcloth and gently ran it over his chest. There was nothing sexual in the act. Only love and care.

"Mmh..." he murmured.

When she had cleaned every part of him, she turned off the water and helped him out of the shower. Then she grabbed a thick towel and wrapped it around his waist. "Any better?" she murmured as she reached for her own towel.

Feeling much better, he nodded. "Yeah."

"Good." She leaned up and lovingly kissed his cheek. "Let's get dressed. I have dinner in the oven."

He cringed at the thought of food, but he stood up carefully and followed her out of the bathroom.

She dressed in an old t-shirt and pajama bottoms, while he pulled on boxers and a pair of sweatpants. Then they padded into the living room. She ushered him over to the table and waited for him to sit down before moving into the kitchen to fix their plates.

Elliot sat down and watched as Olivia got their dinner ready. He hadn't had an appetite lately, because food always made him feel worse.

Olivia quickly fixed the two plates, then carried them to the table. Placing Elliot's plate in front of him, she dropped a kiss on his head before sitting down. She had never been a physically affectionate person, but with him, it felt so natural and easy.

Elliot ate a couple bites of his dinner, but he mostly picked at it.

Olivia watched him carefully. "El, try to eat," she encouraged.

"I'm not hungry," he mumbled. She softly sighed. "You have to keep up your strength, Elliot."

He sighed and ate as much as he felt he could stomach.

Olivia finally gave up and cleared the table, then carried the dirty dishes to the sink.

"Sorry," Elliot apologized sheepishly. "I'm just not that hungry."

"I know."

He stifled a yawn as he watched her wash the dishes and stack them up on the counter.

Once the kitchen was clean, Olivia ushered Elliot over to the couch and sat down with him. Then she turned on the TV as she laid her head on his shoulder.

He put his arm around her shoulders and absently tangled his fingers in her soft dark hair.

She nestled closer to him and sighed quietly. She couldn't imagine living without him. She just couldn't.

To Be Continued...

A/N: Poor El... Thanks for reading, and please review!


	7. Slipping

A new chapter! Happy early Turkey day, everyone! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not ours!

SVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVU

Six weeks after Elliot's first round of chemo, his two week break between rounds began. Olivia awoke early in the morning, and for a few minutes, she just enjoyed the silence and holding Elliot in her arms. The combination of the chemo and all the drugs he had to take had made his appetite almost non-existent, and it was frighteningly obvious. He had lost nearly fifty pounds, along with his hair. They both knew it was coming, but it was still an upsetting surprise to Olivia. He was a very sick man.

All of his children stopped by to see him, but Kathleen was struggling the most with it. Maureen was a godsend. She would stop by and sit with her father while Olivia cleaned, ran errands, or just took a shower and a nap. And everyone else who visited could see what a toll all of this was taking on her. Everyone but her.

She gently drew Elliot closer and kissed his head. His last visit to the hospital hadn't been encouraging, but they had to keep holding on. As long as he was still breathing, there was hope left.

He tiredly snuggled into her, yawning.

"Are you awake, El?" she whispered.

"Mmm hmm..."

She nuzzled his head lovingly.

He opened his eyes and groaned softly.

Kissing his forehead, she sat up in the bed. "I'm going to get your medicine."

"Okay." He snuggled under the covers and waited until she returned.

She hurried out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, where she prepared his morning dose of medication. Then she fixed a glass of water and went back into the bedroom. "Sit up, El."

He sat up and winced as he swallowed his medicine.

Once he'd swallowed all of his medication, she sat down with him and smoothed her hand over his forehead.

Elliot laid back down, resting his head on the pillow. He was still exhausted, but nowadays that was normal for him.

She watched him intently as she rubbed his chest.

Feeling warm, Elliot pushed the covers aside.

"You okay, El?"

"Just a little warm."

She gently pressed her lips against his forehead. "You feel a little feverish..." There was a slight tremor to her voice as she said that. His doctor had warned her of the dangers even a simple cold could inflict on his compromised immune system.

"I'm o-" He stopped abruptly as his stomach started to churn.

She grabbed the trashcan that resided beside the bed and placed it in front of him.

He curled his fingers around the rim of the can and retched, moaning softly.

Olivia rubbed his back and whispered reassuringly into his ear.

Elliot shakily leaned against her. "I... I think I'm..."

It was then that she noticed a tiny rivulet of blood running from the corner of his mouth, and her heart clenched. Trying to stay calm, she ran her hand over his head. "I'm taking you to the hospital, El."

Too weak to argue, he let her help him up and guide him out of the bedroom.

By the time she got him to the ER and he was admitted, he had passed out. Whether it was from pain or exhaustion, she didn't know. As he was being examined, she went outside and began making calls.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOE

For two days, Elliot remained unconscious. Despite the prodding of Maureen and threats from Cragen, she refused to leave Elliot's side. He had been placed in the ICU, and his visitors were restricted until he regained consciousness.

On the third day, Elliot finally began to show signs of awakening. Olivia noticed this, and she held his hand tightly as a nurse waited patiently nearby.

Elliot let out a soft groan as he opened his eyes. "W-what..." His throat was too dry for him to continue.

Olivia spoke faster than the nurse. "You're in the hospital, El," she murmured as the nurse poured a glass of water for her patient.

His memory foggy, he looked at her in confusion. "Why...?"

"You have pneumonia. You've been here for three days," the nurse explained kindly, pressing a straw to his dry lips.

Olivia gently stroked his skin with her thumb as he drank the water. Just an hour after first arriving at the hospital, his fever had climbed higher and higher, and at one point, Olivia had been forced to leave the room. That had been terrifying. But his condition was slowly becoming less severe, and his temperature was almost back to normal. She could tell that by touching him.

After he had sipped some water, Elliot leaned back against the pillows, holding Olivia's hand tightly.

The nurse checked his vitals, then injected a syringe into his IV. Once she was satisfied, she hurried out of the room.

Olivia sat down beside Elliot's bed, still grasping his hand tightly.

Elliot absently rubbed Olivia's knuckles with his thumb, chewing his bottom lip in thought.

Leaning forward, she cupped his face in her hand. She was still shaken up, but seeing his eyes open and without a fevered glaze improved her attitude.

He shifted uncomfortably in the bed. "How long do I have to stay here?"

"Probably a couple of days. That was a close call, Elliot." Too close.

Still absorbed in thought, he nodded slightly. "Sorry..."

Her grip tightened on his hand. That had been too close a call. She should have seen the signs, noticed something... Why hadn't she?

Finally he took a deep breath and looked at her. "Liv?"

She looked up. "What is it, El?"

"Will you..." He took another deep breath, his heart pounding. "Will you marry me?"

She stared at him. "What?"

He bit his lip and looked away from her.

Stunned, she leaned back in the chair.

He looked back at her. "You don't have to..." he sighed reluctantly.

"I just... I wasn't expecting a proposal."

"I know... I'm sorry. But... what do you say?"

Making a soft noise, she stood up and sat on the bed with him. Then she drew him against her and held him tight. "I don't know what to say..."

He rested his head on her shoulder. "You can think about it..."

She pressed her lips against his head. If they got married, she could take family leave to take care of him for as long as she needed to, and no one could stop her. They would be married... She nuzzled his head affectionately, then lowered her lips to his ear. "Yes..."

Sighing in relief, he slipped his arms around her.

"I love you, Elliot." She held him tighter.

He kissed her softly. "I love you, too."

She pulled his blanket tighter around him. "I think..." she started hesitantly. "Maybe we should do it as soon as you're released from here."

He nodded. "Just a small wedding."

"Yes. Your kids, some friends... That's all we need."

"Mm hmm." He smiled slightly.

She ran her fingers lightly up and down his arm. He seemed so thin, so small... He couldn't keep going like this, and they both knew it.

She was already losing him.

To Be Continued...

A/N: Thanks for reading! Have a safe and fun holiday, everybody!


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